Relationship Counseling
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What is Relationship Counseling? When we think about relationship the first thing that comes to mind is connection. This connection may be with a friend, partner, child, parent or other family member, employer, employee or co-worker. These relationships will vary in their degree of resonance, closeness and intimacy. One thing they all have in common is that no matter how agreeable a relationship is there will be times when we are not in harmony and may even feel totally disconnected or worse. We begin to doubt and question whether the relationship is worth the effort. What happened to my caring friend or loving partner? When conflict heightens resolution seems impossible. One reason that harmony eludes us is that we were never taught how to resolve conflict. We have an image when conflict or disharmony occurs that something is inherently wrong with the relationship and most likely view the other person as the cause of the conflict. If only they would change everything would be okay. When relationships work they move through a cycle from harmony to disharmony to repair. No relationship is harmonious 100% of the time. Learning how to repair rips in our relationships is a vital step in maintaining harmony and creating vital enriching relationships. |
For families and couples betrayal, addictions, unemployment, loss of a loved one, affairs, financial worries, parenting, disabilities, religious differences, mid-life crisis, blended families, in-laws, sexual issues, stress and lack of time together take a toll on intimacy and connection. As a couple when you vowed to stay together, “for better or for worse”, you may not have imagined how “worse” things could become. Our fight, flight, or freeze response kicks in and our knee-jerk reaction to these blows is either to attack by vocalizing or physically demonstrating our anger, to flee by leaving the situation or to become silent and withdraw our attention and energy.
Relational Life Therapy addresses our innate habitual reactions and goes beneath the surface to the underlying dynamic inherent when each person’s style collides to reveal the dance that is triggered from each one’s stance. As this dynamic is seen along with the perspective and feelings of the other the capacity for compassion enters.
Relational Life Therapy addresses our innate habitual reactions and goes beneath the surface to the underlying dynamic inherent when each person’s style collides to reveal the dance that is triggered from each one’s stance. As this dynamic is seen along with the perspective and feelings of the other the capacity for compassion enters.
Relationship requires skills “Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until we have been stuck, incapacitated, or blown off course for awhile. Plain sailing is pleasant, but you are not going to explore many unknown realms that way.” ~ David Whyte |
Relationships are truly an exploration into the unknown and a mirror of our beliefs, judgments, strengths and weaknesses. They reflect the level of our consciousness and ability to love and care for our self and others. They offer the possibility for enormous growth. Counseling supports and empowers relationship through unmasking the stories, ferreting out assumptions, joining through the truth, having empathy, non-judgmental recognition of each person’s perspective, and teaching how to live a Relational Life.
Relational skills include:
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Resulting in:
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Each relationship is unique and the aim of counseling is to support and empower the alliance and each individual within that relationship. It may mean that the relationship has reached closure or that it is renewed and energized. Therapy is a powerful ally in aiding the process of resolution and encouraging dramatic improvement.
Suggested Reading List: Us, The New Rules Of Marriage, and I Don’t Want To Talk About It by Terry Real. Emotionally Focused Therapy, by Sue Johnson. Relationship counseling sessions are 1 hour and 25 minutes. |